You Don't Have No.. T-Shirt

🎇 “You Don't Have No…?” Tee
aka the redneck declaration of independence

This ain't just a t-shirt — it's a fire-breathing, freedom-screaming, mullet-rocking tribute to one of the most legendary movie rants of all time.

Imagine rollin' up to the BBQ, wearing this shirt, and hitting 'em with:

“You don’t have no whistling bungholes… no spleen splitters… whisker biscuits… honkey lighters… hoosker doos, hoosker don’ts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers (with or without the scooter stick)… or even one single whistling kitty chaser?”

🔥 Printed LOUD across the back or front (your choice)
🔥 Looks best covered in gunpowder and BBQ sauce
🔥 Soft enough to nap in your lawn chair after a few cold ones
🔥 Guaranteed to get laughs, high-fives, and maybe a few fireworks citations

This tee is for the true connoisseur of chaos, comedy, and cheap explosives.

Perfect for:

• July 4th shenanigans

• Mullet conventions

• Gas station run-ins with destiny

• Anyone who knows real fireworks need names you can't say with a straight face

Don’t just wear a shirt — wear a whole dang monologue.
Because Joe Dirt didn’t die for your sparkle poppers.

Let’s light this candle. 🚀